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Joke of the Day

"My friend found a Paras while we were playing Pokemon Go. So I asked him, ""Was it under a truck?"""

"A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse."

"What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation fetish? William Shat-on-her"

"My Social Studies classes never taught me relevant social topics like ""How to ask a girl out,"" ""How much to pay her,"" or ""Will HIV kill me?"""

"A man enters an auto parts store. Man: ""I need a windshield wiper for a Smart Car"" Clerk: ""Well, only if you throw $20 into the trade"""

"What's the most annoying thing about trying to remove the panties off a girl when having sex? The screaming and the fighting"

"Police Officer: ""Can you identify yourself, Sir""? Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me""."

"He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number."

"That's 49 -7 in dog goals."

"Did you hear about the coprophile? He got off through a process of elimination."