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Joke of the Day

"Never make puns during a Scrabble match. Your opponent may not like your wordplay."

"I hate it when people ask me where I see myself in 5 years. Come on man, I don't have 2020 vision!"

"I don't play fantasy football, but I do play fantasy friendship. This week I'm starting Taylor Swift and Conan O'Brien."

"My uncle died from a turtle stampede. It was a slow death."

"What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins? Fred."

"What's the difference between a 1950s mental asylum and my fridge? One's filled with fruits and vegetables, the other's my fridge."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde keeps sucking after you slap her."

"Not so great minds also think alike."

"Why didn't sine cross the road? Cosecant"

"Do you know what an Australian kiss is? It's a French kiss, ......down under!"