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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The blonde keeps sucking after you slap her."

"Why is there no pain relief in the jungle? Cos the Parrots-Eat-Em-All"

"A sniper looks over a large crowd of people from his hidden perch. Over his earpiece, he is told to fire at will. He carefully spots his target, and shoots. ""Crap, that wasn't Will."""

"Two cows are talking in a field. Two cows are in a field. One says, I'm not scared of mad cow disease'. The other says, Oh really, why not?'. The first replies, Because I'm a helicopter'."

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."

"Why was the cheese so sad? Because it was provOLONE"

"Women are like necklaces They strangle me when i try to sleep with 'em."

"There are few problems in life that can't be sorted by slowing down, taking a deep breath, and THEN drawing winged eyeliner on a raccoon."

"Wanna hear a really cheesy joke? Just a warning, it's not that gouda. (made that one up during a slow night at work)"

"Man goes into the store... ...and he's quite startled by what he sees. The clerk has these great bushy eyebrows. Horrified, the man stutters, ""Can eyebrows your inventory?"""