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Joke of the Day
"I really would love to see two mimes arguing"
Next Joke
"Why did the pirate date the mermaid? He thought finding X in her algebra would lead to booty."
"WIFE: I'm tired of you living in a fantasy world ME: *imagining she's Kate Upton* You always say that, Kate WIFE: Who is Kate? WHO IS KATE?"
"Who needs whips and chains? Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her."
"My ex's taught me that not every I love you is real."
"What do you call the place where lesbian Eskimos meet up? A Klondike Bar"
"Dad joke I just had with my girlfriend GF: *sigh GF: *sigh GF: *sigh Me: That's like 3 sighs in 30 seconds. GF: And they all probably meant different things. Me: I guess I need to know sigh language."
"How did Darth Vader know what Luke would get for Christmas? He felt his presents."
"Mrs. Smith: Help me doctor! My son John swallowed the can opener! Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!"
"I asked my 9 yr old a question 27 min ago. She's still answering it."