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Joke of the Day

"Bill Cosby awarded another honorary degree from Boston University, this time is was Anesthesiology."

"Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind. Little Jimmy's dad walks into his son's room and says, ""Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind."" Little Jimmy: ""Dad I'm over here, in the living room..."""

"There's a German shepherd next door who keeps burying under my fence and shitting in the flower bed His dog is just as bad"

"*at an AA meeting* ""Hi, I'm Andy and I have a drinking problem. I have 2 hands and only 1 mouth. Lol."" *gets aggressively escorted out*"

"Apparently ""naked"" is not the answer when someone mad at you asked, how do you sleep at night?"

"I fought the law, and it turns out they have better resources than I do."

"I got my beautiful wife a lovely woolie hat and a coat for Christmas. She's gonna need it because I've just lost our house to gambling."

"How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense? I'll tell you guys tomorrow"

"Ugh your paleontologist friend is coming? He's so boring! Don't worry, I have a plan to keep him distracted *pulls out seven layer dip*"

"Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business."