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Joke of the Day
"What do you call Murayan Sukumaran's new wife? A necrophiliac."
Next Joke
"Three types of people... There are three types of people in this world. Those who are odd, and those who literally can't even."
"""Doc,"" I said, ""every time I fart the room fills with smoke and stinks of petrol. What's the matter with me?"" ""That's easy,"" he said. ""You're exhausted."""
"She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction."
"I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks ""I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it."" - Mr. Manager Cordially, Mrs. Team Lead"
"Are you waiting for my comeback? You can scrape it off your mom's teeth"
"Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems."
"*Runs 6 miles* *Adds Kenyan to resume*"
"Bom Dia means good morning in Portuguese Apparently it also means bomb him in Indonesian"
"Me: (squeezing into a gown) I'm so sick of the fashion industry. Who do you even make these clothes for? Children? Disney Store clerk: Yes."