172319

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body."

"I've been putting my sunglasses on and walking away from things in slow motion all day, nothing has exploded yet."

"Nothing brings out the kid in you like... an abortion."

"Art of falling apart I know an art dealer who thought Picasso's work was utter rubbish and wouldn't stock it in his gallery. He's laughing on the other side of his face now!"

"Why did the smoothie get assassinated? He got mixed up with a few bad apples."

"The first guy to clap was really weird ""I enjoyed this so I'm going to hit my hand with my other hand to show my appreciation"""

"A cure has been found for homosexuality. Lip balm you rub it on your arsehole and it keeps the chaps away."

"Some day I have a victim mentality But it's not my fault"

"What's the hardest part about nailing a baby to a tree? My penis."

"What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? Names! -Bo Burnham"