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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body."

"My home phone rang. Weird."

"When do terrorists go to bed? 9:11pm"

"Q: Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover? A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum. **X-post : /r/ScienceHumour**"

"[On a date] *Don't let her know you're a dog* Girl: Do you want to...maybe go for a walk after this? *starts running in circles going crazy*"

"Roses are red Violets are blue I've got multiple personalities disorder And so do I."

"What do a drunken cat and the pope have in common? They're both Catholics."

"cop joke He got pulled over by a cop. Cop:""I've been waiting all day to catch someone like you."" Boy:""I know sir, I got here as fast as I could."""

"Life is like a box of chocolates. My wife won't let me have any."

"What do you call the area between Pamela Anderson's breasts? Silicon Valley"