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Joke of the Day

"My home phone rang. Weird."

"Why don't the dutch have a space program? Their spaceships Netherland."

"My favorite band I don't normally say I have a favorite band, but if someone held a gun up to my head, I'd probably say The Killers."

"Why do hippies wear pachouli?? So blind people can hate them to"

"I have no sense of decency. That way all my other senses are enhanced..."

"Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

"If you like to speak in different languages while high off marijuana, you're probably Rosetta Stoned."

"This is a terrible week for Thanksgiving This time, Turkey is doing the roasting ijusthadtoimsosorry"

"So there was a stork carrying an old man.. ..and the old man turns to it and says: ""Would you at last admit it that we are lost?"""

"So a neutron walks into a bar... So a nutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, ""how much for a drink?"" bartender simply shrugs and replies, ""for you, no charge."""