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Joke of the Day

"Why does Sean Connery suck at DIY? A lack of shelf awareness."

"Imagine being the sound guy when Drake's rapping about doing it all on his own with no help. He must be like ""wow um oook?"""

"It's My First Cake Day and I'm Scrambling. How Does Moses Make his Tea? He Brews It!"

"Have you heard the joke about the girl with Progeria? It got old pretty fast. (I know, it's awful)."

"You'd think by now the Food Network would have late night adult shows with roast beef, cream pies and salad tossing."

"What is the difference between a prison guard and a member of Congress One interacts with felons, half of which are probably innocent of crimes, and the other works on Capitol Hill."

"So what do you do for a living? Im in organ trafficking. Fu** ! Dont you have a heart? Was that a critic or an order?"

"Why don't black girls wear underwear to cookouts? To keep the flies off the fried chicken."

"Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas? Because his bread was stollen!!!"

"Vasaline is the key to having sex with your spouse after having children... *Just stick that stuff on the outside of the doorknob and the kids can't turn the knob to get in."