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Joke of the Day
"It's My First Cake Day and I'm Scrambling. How Does Moses Make his Tea? He Brews It!"
Next Joke
"What is Fido the dog's favorite part of a tree? Bark! What is his favorite canine? Wolf! How does he like his sex? Ruff!"
"Me: I can't work today. Boss: Why? M: My grandma died. B: Our grandmas died 20 yrs ago. M: ... -Why working for your brother is a bad idea."
"How do you catch a unique cat? Unique up on it."
"[I remove my bike helmet, but my toupee comes off with it] ""I'm sorry guys, is there something funny about safety?"""
"I asked my Chinese girlfriend for a 69 last night. She said 'Fuck off, I'm not cooking at this time of night'"
"Why does Donald Trump dislike trees? Because they're brown and don't speak English."
"Have you ever seen mothballs? How'd you get their tiny legs open?"
"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Smallpox and genocide."
"Pretty sure you can see me practicing my ""not all Muslims are bad"" Thanksgiving talking points in the bg of a student film in Wash Sq Park."