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Joke of the Day
"I'm not feeling myself today... ...would YOU do it for me?"
Next Joke
"Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter? They were ravin' with Raven."
"*pets your eyebrows* there, there caterpillar; everything will be ok"
"*walks up to a group of sad people at a funeral* Do y'all know the wifi password"
"whats worse than eating shit out of someone's ass? chewing & transferring it to your lover's mouth"
"My plumber insists on personally using every toilet he just installed. His mission is to boldly go where no one has gone before. Sorry Gene. We still love you."
"""Don't worry, I'll hold your stuff. You just worry about making friends."" - Cargo Pants"
"""I hate you but I'm not in hate with you."" - Murderer delicately explaining why he left a victim with only a light stabbing"
"Best Ever Comedy Movies - Can You Guess The Movie Quote"
"What do you call a German who is up themselves? A deutsche-bag"