172102
Joke of the Day
"Never trust a vegetarian who eats animal crackers"
Next Joke
"""You're not the Bruce Springsteen of me!"" - Angry employee from New Jersey"
"Why is it so easy to fool a vampire? Because they're a bunch of suckers."
"My fiance said the funniest thing out of context today. Lewis and Clark were so starved on their exploration, Sacajawea had a hard time understanding why they didn't eat Seaman."
"What do you call an alligator with a vest? An investigator."
"*walks into starbucks* Me: HEY ANY ASPIRING AUTHORS HERE?? SOMEONE FROM PENGUIN PUBLISHING OUTSIDE!!! *has choice of any table*"
"how do you organize a party in space? you planet."
"Things I'm doing today * going to the gym * having sex * lying"
"Pokemon GO is the biggest thing right now, guess whats up next! Plantation Tycoon DownSouth 1600s Go Railroad 1800's Tycoon Auschwitz Tycoon Pedophile Go"
"Girlfriend: ""babe it's hot I need a fan"" [Boyfriend starts taking pictures with her and BEGGING for autographs]"