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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so easy to fool a vampire? Because they're a bunch of suckers."

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In a mirror! Reply from my 9 year old brother, after my mom asked me this while talking about future career prospects."

"It's now apparently politically incorrect to say ""Black paint"" Now you have to say ""Tyrone can you please go paint the fence?""."

"Why is Kim Jong Un like todays music? They both ain't got the same Seoul."

"Quick question... How much of this ""No More Tears"" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?"

"People keep asking what I thought of my Oklahoma trip It was OK"

"Transform chocolate into a balanced meal by eating it standing on one leg WITHOUT falling over. Chocolate yoga: it's the next big thing."

"Happy Fourtho de Mayo."

"If God wanted us to save money for retirement he wouldn't have invented online shopping"

"My wife thinks I drink too much... ...but the guy who runs my dialysis treatment says he's seen way worse."