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Joke of the Day

"*holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up fire* and this is my mixtape"

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"My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!"
"My wife asked me to hand her a tube of lipstick, but I mistakenly handed her a tube of Super Glue Now she won't talk to me."
"I have a ""Knock Knock"" joke but you have to start it off."
"Trump can't release his taxes Putin hasn't sent his W2s yet"
"""Use a spongebob quote to describe your sex life"" ""Are you ready kids?"""
"You know, I love the ocean I think in a past life I was a semen"
"Can anyone tell me.... If I posted the joke about Alzheimers? I can't remember if I did."
"Imagine how excruciating a conversation between Hodor, Groot, and Timmy from South Park would be."
"Why should you eat your soup in a cup? So that it's not ebola soup."