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Joke of the Day

"Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner..."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock Knock. ""Who's there?"" The chicken."

"What's the speed limit of sex? 68... any faster and you'll eat it."

"""Hitting it hard as shit"" and ""tickling the hole"" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today"

"Received definitive proof I'm going blind AND senile this morning as I just attempted to pinch zoom the newspaper."

"Why did Donald Trump watch the olympics? To see how high the mexicans pole vaulters can jump"

"Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles."

"I feel bad for airport security workers. I'm going to make their job easier today by not wearing underwear."

"Nice try ""blocked number"", but I don't even answer the phone for people I know."

"A guy and his dog Guy walks up to his dog and says ""I need a divorce"" The dog replies ""yeah, my wife is a bitch too."""