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Joke of the Day

"What did the battered woman say once she finally realized she was no longer sexually attracted to her abusive husband? Beats the fuck out of me."

"Sorry, I'm out of my mind at the moment, please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. "

"I asked my dad who the favourite child was. ""Ask your brother,"" he replied. ""Where is he?"" I asked. He said, ""Buried in the garden."""

"In poland stainless steel is a lot cheaper... However it only applies to the version made in their own country, Stainless Steel Polish...."

"I don't think The Proclaimers realized how far 500 miles really is."

"A goose walks into a cafe. He says, ""I want a burger, fries, and coke. Put it on my bill."""

"What do you call a run-down and Italian neighborhood? The Sphaghetto"

"Dear shaving commercials: please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress us, try shaving a gorilla."

"How is a woman like a bank. You lose interest once you withdraw. Playboy has awesome jokes."

"What type of bonds deals with the bad guys? James"