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Joke of the Day

"I hate when movies say ""May contain nudity."" Well does it doesn't it? I don't want to waste my time."

"I think I need to put my dog on antidepressants I ask him how his day was. His answer is always ""Rough"""

"I'm all wet! ""Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys are stupid too."

"What do lesbians cook for dinner? Nothing; they eat out!"

"[ORIGINAL] What's a priest's favorite cheese? Swiss. It's holey."

"If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, ""Quit while your ahead""?!"

"Where were you i have been waiting for half an hour. Said No Girl Ever."

"in the cha cha slide he goes ""NOW its time to get funky!"" halfway through the song like i wasn't getting funky already?"

"What's a Mexicans favorite candy? Jelly beaners."