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Joke of the Day

"Her:""What do you do?"" Me:""I teach astronomy."" Her:""OMG!! I'm a Sagitarius! Can you see my future?"" Me:""Yes, you'll go home alone tonight."""

"What's a Drill Sergeant's term for an erection? Penis weakness leaving the body."

"Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st? Because they have just finished a 31 day March."

"I got received an e-mail from my Buddhist friend... ...it was free from attachments."

"How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it."

"What do you call a person that tells jokes to ghosts? A comedium."

"Who is Cap'n Crunch's superior Officer? General Mills"

"Batman: I told you, if it's mine you have to say bat before it.. Like bat-mobile, bat-arang.. Doctor: Fine, you have bat-herpes"

"*purposely chooses network with most dropped calls*"

"Bill Joe Armstrong (From Greenday) was walking down the street. A girl walked past him and said ""Wow, you smell amazing."" He replied: ""That's because I wore cologne, I wore cologne."""