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Joke of the Day

"The only part I hate about not wearing pants is having to wipe snot on my bare legs."

"*Spider exam: How to scare people out of their mind* Fly Breathe fire Sit still on the ceiling and mind your own business"

"What do French people say when they don't want to see someone ever again? Au nevoir."

"Victoria Beckham got her twat shaved. He still looks ridiculous."

"The Pun Contest There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would be a winner. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"

"I phoned the local gym... and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'"

"Why does everyone love Plato? Because he loved Dogs and he had two sons named Plato and Socrates"

"What does it take for a Beatles reunion? Two Bullets."

"I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her."

"Some Muslims were having an argument on my street the other day... I wanted to step in, but I was afraid it would blow up in my face."