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Joke of the Day

"How do you know that your wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up."

"Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not."

"What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Trying to fit in"

"The orphanage i run, burned down today with the lives of sixty children Thank fuck i don't have to tell their parents ...."

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful restraining order."

"What did the gynaecologist say to the vagina that grabbed his sandwich? Don't, Snatch."

"I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume."

"What does one strawberry say to the other? ""Well, if you hadn't been so fresh last night, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam!"""

"St. Peter: ""Spock?"" Leonard Nimoy: ""I'm Leonard. Spock was just a character I played on TV."" St. Peter: ""HEY EVERYBODY! IT'S SPOCK!"""

"You're American when you go in to the bathroom, and American when you come out, but what are you while you're in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein')"