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Joke of the Day

"On my latest trip through New England I was really impressed with New York City but Boston just blew me away"

"What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle."

"Did you see the new clock porno? It's about fucking time."

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber!"

"I Like My Women Like I Like My Coffee.... Well educated, independent, pretty looking and doesn't nag all day"

"What do you get when you mix pie and onions? Opinions!"

"FDR said, ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."" He should have said, ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself and polio."""

"Because I'm such a Portal 2 fan, I created my own levels. Sadly, none of the ""volunteers"" have made it out alive and their families are starting to ask questions."

"Siri, fight Alexa."

"A mathematician walks into a pizza bar and orders one pi He receives two"