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Joke of the Day

"I blow-dried my hair, now it looks like the mane of a majestic lion who is really good at video games"

"First rule of Thesaurus Club: You do not talk, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, or converse about Thesaurus Club."

"How do you tell the difference between an East Indian Chef and a porn star? Ask them to pronounce the word cumin."

"If your mouse doesn't work, what is it? Unemployed."

"Why do we hire Nazis as Game Developers? Because they're Pro-Grammer."

"What kind of soda did Moses drink? Mountain Jew!"

"EARTH: Goodnight Moon MOON: Goodnight Earth EARTH: Come closer and give me a kiss MOON: Okay {millions perish in massive tidal wave}"

"Alien: why should I not blow up this planet? Human: we are an advanced species A: how do you travel? H: we light old dinosaurs on fire"

"My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one. Parenting is hard, you guys."

"Jared likes his women like he likes his sandwiches 6 and 12"