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Joke of the Day

"Drop a ring pop in front of him. If he picks it up and hands it back to you... Congratulations! You're engaged."

"I'm thinking of opening a pre-owned clock store... I'm gonna call it 'Second Hand'."

"What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? I'm at your service ma'am."

"I killed 3 men yesterday... All 5 of them were black."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick!"

"I popped into Tesco last night to get some oxo cubes but couldn't see any on the shelf, they must be out of stock!"

"what did the gay sperm say to his compatriot? ""HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND OUR WAY THROUGH THIS SHIT?"""

"Animals in Australia There are 2 kinds of animals in Australia: * Those that want to eat you * Sheeps"

"Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was ""what do they know that I don't?"""

"My husband asked me to act like a ""naughty school girl"" for him so I forged a note from my mother saying I don't have to participate."