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Joke of the Day

"My friends Dad call his son ""The Exorcist"" Ever time he comes home, all the spirits are gone [Picture of the ""The Exorcist"" at work](http://i.imgur.com/hAK6zNg.jpg)"

"I was so shocked when my girlfriend called me a lazy piece of shit in Walmart the other day that I almost fell off my motorized scooter."

"What did Obama say to Michelle when he proposed? ""I don't wanna be obama self."""

"What do you do with a Jew who has ADHD? Put him in a concentration camp"

"Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? He didn't want to see the salad dressing."

"What do you call cows that don't have a sense of humor? Feminists."

"Grilled cheese is just regular cheese that's been forced to account for its whereabouts last night between 9:30 and 11."

"How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him? He found a hare in his bed."

"Why is Jesus terrible in bed? Because it takes three days for him to rise again, and two thousand years to come twice."

"I sometimes love math jokes.... 50% of the time they put me in a positive mood"