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Joke of the Day

"Here's a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management"

"The fastest way to get karma is... ...is to make someone think they are learning how to get karma"

"I've got a bag full of stick figure stickers, and when I see an SUV I add random dudes to their families."

"My ass is a better cook than me because... At least what it makes is supposed to taste like shit."

"What do you call a kid with no friends (warning offensive) A sandy hook survivor."

"I went to the zoo the other day... The only animal they had was a small dog. It was a shih tzu"

"How does Moses make his tea... ... Hebrews it"

"Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job? Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic."

"Isis has hidden bombs inside alphabet spaghettios. If they go off they could spell disaster."

"Longest joke in the world Here it is: http://www.longestjokeintheworld.com"