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Joke of the Day

"Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them."

"I was watching the WWE wrestling with my son today... ...when I finally snapped at the whole charade and blatant fakeness of it all. It's about time he was told he's adopted."

"Wife:Did you take ambien last night? Me: *recalls riding a unicorn that's on fire* No, why? W:The dog's wearing a saddle and she's orange."

"Straight Outta Compton Beat the Crap Out of Trainwreck at the Box Office This Weekend But then again Dr. Dre is no stranger to beating women."

"I keep trying to find my wife's killer But nobody will do it"

"French tanks have 6 gears for going backwards and only 1 gear for going forward In case they get attacked from behind"

"Why do Jewish women like circumsized penis' Because they're all 20% off"

"Why not use a see-through, clear plastic hang glider just to freak everyone out?"

"This oatmeal tastes just like bacon because I threw it away and I'm eating bacon."

"What do you call an alien from Austria? Austalian"