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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into his room with a duck under his arm... and says ""This is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says ""That's not a pig, it's a duck."" He says ""I wasn't talking to you."""

"Why did the Italian get thrown out of the hotel? He said ""I wanna two sheet onna the bed""."

"Why is my penis nicknamed Johnny Depp? Because I pirate so many pornos. Edit: I don't know how to add the nsfw tag sorry."

"What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you? Camembert"

"[maybe NSFW] How can you tell that a porn star works at your local gas station? Right before he's done filling the tank he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the trunk of your car."

"Who would won in a wrestling match; Lemmy or God? Trick question, lemmy is god... R.I.P. Edit* win not won damnit..."

"Boy asks Girl.... Boy: Will you marry me? *girl slaps him* Girl: What did you say? *boy gets up and and slaps her twice* Boy: If you didn't hear what I said, then why did you slap me?"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile the other day... Thats an awfully big word for a six year old."

"What's long and hard and full of seamen? The tube sock under my bed."

"In the summer desert heat what did a dust devil say to the over-talkative dust devil? -You are really blowing a lot of hot air"