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Joke of the Day

"I quit my job as a taxi driver... I just can't stand people talking behind my back."

"A three legged dog Walks into a bar, sits down and says im looking for the man that shot my paw."

"How many ADHD sufferers does it take to... To get to the other si-- Knock knock."

"Hey girl is your dad in jail... ...Because if I was your dad, I would be"

"A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!"

"If there's a zombie apocalypse, I'm becoming a zombie. Walking around doing nothing & eating non-stop seems like a pretty sweet deal to me."

"I grew up in a rough part of town... The local youths used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then put a cherry on my head. Life was tough in the gateau."

"Mandela dead at 95. Respect. That's 5mph faster than Paul Walker."

"Why did the man open a rooftop bar? He wanted to have drinks on the house."

"I was confronted by an angry man today. I told him I come in peace Apparently that's something you shouldn't say to Peace's boyfriend"