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Joke of the Day

"A sitcom about teen girl aliens called UFOMG."

"What do you call a smug prisoner walking down stairs? A condescending con descending"

"FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys"

"woman on death row Warden: ""What would you like for your last meal?"" Woman: ""I don't know, what do you want?"""

"I like my beer like I like my woman Without a fucking dick in it. Fuck you Amy, fuck you"

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? 8)"

"I can't help but feel that if Mario hadn't been taking so many mushrooms he would have found the right castle rather quickly.."

"Everyone asks me if I'm in a relationship with the blind girl that I recently met... But I'm just seeing her."

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, Change has to come from WITHIN!"

"I would tell you a joke about UDP But you might not get it"