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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl taking a whiz? Because the P is silent!"

"You just know I knew my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load early last night....I could see it in her eyes"

"My favorite part of The Bachelor is when a crazy emotional girl starts crying and he'd rather kiss her snot-nosed face than listen to her."

"Cheating at a limbo contest.... that's about as low as you can get!"

"Rick Astley will loan you any movie in his Pixar collection except for one... He's never going to give you Up"

"When brains do it it the butt do they call it ...brainal?"

"What idiot named her Miley Cyrus' grandma and not Nana Montana."

"Why are women such bad drivers? Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom."

"No one told him Syria borders Iraq Why did Obama provide weapons to Al-Qaeda in Syria"

"An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen..."