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Joke of the Day

"Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava but only once"

"Deep down... ...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me."

"Joan Rivers stopped breathing during cosmetic surgery and has passed after several days of home care. At least she died doing what she loved."

"Whats The difference between Stealing Cookies from a Jar and Child Molesting? Ive only ever been caught stealing cookies."

"Why does the Little Mermaid where sea shells? Because she can't fit in B shells!"

"What is life like for a wood worm ? Boring !"

"The softest type of toilet paper is cats."

"Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush? She kept looking for it in Alderaan places."

"Moses talking to a burning bush was child's play ...compared to the miracle of getting a hundred thousand Jews to voluntarily go in to the Red ~~sea~~."

"ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this"