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Joke of the Day

"[marriage counseling] She thinks I make bad decisions ""He hired a clown for my nana's funeral"" PEOPLE NEEDED CHEERING UP, KAREN"

"What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada? Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative."

"[NSFW] I am no gynecologist.... But I know a cunt when I see one"

"What's E.T. short for? His legs are small."

"How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame bunny? The tame way."

"I realize I'm not good advising suicidal people I said ""hang in there!"""

"Why can you call a liberal a leftist but can't call a conservative a rightist? Because they're always the wrongest."

"There's a sale on deer testicles. They're under a buck."

"Mickey Mouse's lawyer calls... ...And tells him, ""Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because shes 'crazy'"" and Mickey responds, ""I didn't say she was crazy, i said she was fucking goofy!"""

"Roommate and I got our first electric bill and long story short we're now Amish"