198946

Joke of the Day

"My dad always told me to treat women like flowers. So I tore my girlfriend apart limb by limb to find out whether or not she loved me."

"What internet provider does Satan use in hell? Comcast"

"How does a coffee maker know it might be pregnant? It's period is a little LATTE."

"Why couldn't the Chinese herpetologist see out his car window? Because it was too froggy outside."

"8/10 black men say they enjoy shower sex. The other two haven't been to prison"

"Lawyer: do you watch people use the bathroom? Defendant: no Lawyer: spell ""ICUP"" Defendant: I-C-U-P Judge: *softly* omg Jury: *whispering*"

"Sean Spicer said the inauguration had the ""largest audience ever."" Then he took it back because your mother left."

"I'm sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body."

"My boss fired me because I didn't attend the meeting as I had to answer an important call. Apparently nature's call doesn't count as important to him"

"You guys are even more beautiful now that I'm wearing my ""wine glasses""."