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Joke of the Day

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we give a shit."

"I don't hold grudges or plot for revenge, I will simply send a bunch of Jehovah's witnesses to your door...on a daily basis."

"What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub? A barredvark!"

"What is the capital of the United States? Half of what it was last week"

"For eggplant your guests will love, lightly brush with olive oil, toss in the air and blast that bad boy with your ankle piece."

"If a woman with big boobs works at Hooters where does a woman with one leg work? IHOP"

"I messed up planning my New Year's party I guess you could say I dropped the ball."

"Wanna hang together? ill bring the rope"

"Fishing for Jupiter fart fish off the wing of the space shuttle."

"I'll never forget the first time Mum made some rock cakes. She passed then round and told me to take my pick. I didn't need a pick, I needed a hammer and chisel."