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Joke of the Day

"But your honor, she used mild cheddar cheese to make nachos"

"Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in."

"[traffic court] Your honor, I'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 tickets JUDGE: Repeat infractions? Ok, I'm here to dispute 4/5 of my tickets"

"Why hasn't Donald Trump ever finished a novel? Because he always gets stuck in Chapter 11."

"Where did the pirate go to college? Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard."

"A guy walks into a bar holding a dog poop... he says ""hey guys, look what I almost stepped in"""

"Did you know that Stevie Wonder has seven kids? He never sees them though."

"According to HR, the boss can come into my office eating a kebab when I've only had an apple for lunch but I can't throw my chair at him"

"If at first you don't succeed, then you will have alerted them to your presence. It is important that you at first succeed."

"You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works."