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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris wanted to make jokes great again So he bought a trumpet for every time we make an horrible pun."

"Just did my holiday shopping. I've got so many shorts now; I'm swimming in them!"

"The car you buy should say something about you, and not just ramble on about itself like you're not even there."

"What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work? Suture self!"

"Don't say ""fuck"" in Japan They don't like it when you drop the bomb."

"My teacher actually said this to us before out computing exam... Pupil: ""Will we be able to use the calculator in the exam?"" Sir: ""No, it will be disabled just like you"" No joke, he actually said that"

"My biggest fear of Hurricane Sandy is that i'll lose power and can't Facebook"

"Parents w/ 1st Baby: ""Aww he's starting to walk! C'mon buddy, u can do it!"" Parents w/ Baby #4: ""SHIT, HE'S STANDING! QUICK, SWEEP THE LEG!"""

"Codpieces aren't supposed to made out of fish? Crap! Hang on, then, I need to change."

"Letsh Have Shex! Horny Sean Connery"