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Joke of the Day
"I've noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be."
Next Joke
"So I tickled my little brothers feet this morning... ... my mom got pissed and told me to wait until he was born."
"[junkyard dog barking viciously and running directly at me] Me: Wow he must really want me to pet him"
"1st old man says ""I wish I could pee with no problems"", 2nd old man says ""I wish I could poop easily"", 3rd old man says ""I easily do both by 10am...."" "".... problem is, I don't wake up til noon"""
"what kind of bees make milk? BOOBEES!"
"What's it called when two perfectionists sleep together? Anal sex."
"The Past, The Present and The Future walked into a bar. It was tense."
"A farmer counted 196 cows in the pasture. But he rounded them up and had 200."
"Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout"
"wife: Did you work late? [flashback to me missing my exit because the car in front of me had Shrek on and I wanted to see the ending] me:Yep"