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Joke of the Day

"Are you in the top half of your class ? No I'm one of the students who make the top half possible !"

"The frog was double parked... And that's why she got Toad."

"In the final analysis, why did Yu do better than Hu? Hu died and left Yu king. Wait a minute - how can you so sure about what's after death? Who died and left you king? Isn't that what I just said?"

"I'm going to change my name to Benny Fitz...so when people add me on Facebook, it will say;..You are now friends with Benny Fitz."

"Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding"

"I was raping a woman the other night and she cried out, ""Please, think of my children!"" Kinky bitch"

"When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?"

"I'll throw corrosive acid in the face of anyone who casually glaces at my computer screen while passing my cubicle."

"What do you call a drunk blue hedgehog? Gin and sonic."

"Body: I'm sooooooo tired Brain: WHAT IF DINOSAURS HAD ASSAULT RIFLES"