1706

Joke of the Day

"Microsoft just announced they are changing the name of Xbox's Premier Multiplayer Service from Xbox Live to Xbox Dead..."

"If someone peed on me during sex, I'd be like, ""Ha! I've read about this!"""

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: ""We are pressed in every way but not cramped beyond movement."""

"Thank God Wolverine isn't italian..."

"I'm not racist at all against black people because... ...every house should have one."

"Putin me on that list."

"What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone? A banana-nana-nana Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long."

"If I owned a moving company, I'd call it 'Van Gogh.'"

"Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you."

"Women are like stars... At first they are small and hot, then they get bigger and bigger, then finally they suck the life out of everything around them."