170521

Joke of the Day

"Relax lady, I don't want your husband. I just want the sandwich he's eating."

"Why does it take so long to play Israeli sports? Because all the replays are in shlomo."

"My son cried when I gave him his breakfast this morning. I made him scrambled eggs, covered them in ketchup & told him it was Humpty Dumpty."

"When I'm drunk, I'm like South Park I'm crude and offends everyone"

"what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib"

"If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it."

"Darth Vader says to Luke 'I know what you're getting for Christmas'. Luke: How could you know that? Darth: I have felt your presents"

"Crazy man has sex with machine at laundromat and evades police Nut screws washer and bolts"

"My mom has a habit of replying my texts with NOTED Me:I love you Mom: NOTED Me:Rebels have come and abducted your husband Mom: NOTED"

"What does an epileptic vegetarian eat? Seizure Salad"