170501
Joke of the Day
"Memory is the second thing we lose as we age I forgot what the first one is"
Next Joke
"The first modern porno was invented in 1648 by Jacoby Porno who thought people should have something to look at while they jacked off[1][2]"
"Boss: I was listening to some Tool on the way to work. Me: I talk to myself when I'm driving sometimes too, it's ok. Boss: Just get out."
"My cat yells at me like she's my mother."
"If you cant beat'em, join'em! Then kill them while they're sleeping."
"[Playing piano to impress a Russian girl] ""Do you like it?"" Her: That's sheet music ""Yes, it is."" Her: Now excuse me, I huv to take a sheet."
"You can't name your dog Jeff, that's illegal"
"How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart? When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes."
"9/10 dentists know where to find cavities The other one knows where to find lions."
"What did the Nazi without a car say? Damnit! Now I'm going to have to sieg HAIL a cab!"