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Joke of the Day

"If you cant beat'em, join'em! Then kill them while they're sleeping."

"All Canadians are hipsters because they all celebrated Thanksgiving a month before it was cool."

"Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does."

"e and i have an argument e says to i: get real i responds: be rational"

"Math is so communist... ...There's class struggle for Marx"

"What is it called when you butt dial from your front pocket? A cockadial"

"I'm not as tweet as you drunk I am think."

"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"

"I like when the ending credits show pictures from the episode I just watched. What a fun trip down memory lane."

"Sweaters aren't the only garment named after a gross bodily function... There's wind breakers, too"