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Joke of the Day

"Why the Chinese aren't democratic Because their leaders can't bring themselves to say 'We need to have a great election; People will come from all over the country'"

"People who generalize.. I find people who generalize to be complete idiots."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza can have ham and cheese together."

"Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully."

"Why did nobody want to be around Hitler? Because he was very gassy."

"Me: Do you have any dreams? Him:...I'm running on a giant hamster wheel and a squirrel wearing a tuxedo comes... Me: ASPIRATIONS YOU IDIOT"

"What did the werewolf say when he got shot with a silver bullet? Oooooooowwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooo. He howled while saying ow pretty much"

"What do you call a group of men with flat butts? Assless Chaps"

"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."

"Why is it the worst for Stevie Wonder when stopped by the police? He doesn't know why they're beating him to death"