129064

Joke of the Day

"Had a skype interview yesterday and I completely avoided the fact that I am actually a centaur"

"I formed a band with my therapy group. It was fun for a while, but we couldn't make it big. Our album 'Appetite for Self-Destruction' didn't do well with the critics."

"I got 99 problems... 100 of them are related to my inability to count."

"No officer I didn't mean to run him over. Yes I saw him but I thought he was my ex, and clearly he is not my ex."

"With the iPhone 7 we have to charge the phone and the earphones, with the iphone 8 ... ... I think we'll also have to charge the charger."

"How do you get a blonde on a roof? Tell her drinks are on the house."

"Brought my 5 year old to the tax office to ensure that the accountant works as quickly as possible."

"Anyone else get the feeling their being watched? NSA: They're."

"A Priest and a Rabbi Are walking down a street. They see a 13 yr old boy walking towards them The Priest says ""Let's take him down this alley and screw him"" The Rabbi says ""Out of what?"""

"If you're ever wondering what I'm thinking, there's about a 96% chance I'm thinking about what & when I'm going to eat next."