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Joke of the Day

"I'm starting a career by putting bombs in prayer mats I think prophets will go through the roof"

"What does a bodybuilder do while waiting in a long line? Weights"

"Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and one to complain that it's electrified."

"how to be healthy 1. always eat breakfast 2. have a light lunch 3. enjoy a sensible dinner 4. FREAK OUT @ 11pm & EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE"

"I'm on a seafood diet... I see food, and I eat it."

"Unfollowing because you didnt get a follow back is like quitting drinking tea because the tea doesn't drink you back. It doesn't make sense."

"""Room service? Send up a larger room."""

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything."

"Say what you will about terrorism in Europe At least our planes take off and land at an airport."

"Had a summer job helping to make art out of elephant dung. It was pretty shit."