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Joke of the Day

"Police are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog."

"Did you hear about the uncircumcised volcano? It was covered in smagma."

"Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because the bus hit him."

"If Elsa could bring snow to life why didn't she make herself some pets? I'd have like 50 snowcats by now."

"Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood."

"I always try to put some condom wrappers in my garbage so the raccoons that go through my trash think I'm cool."

"What do you call a pregnant air hostess Pilot error"

"A mugger holds a man at gunpoint and says, ""Give me your wallet or you're science!"" The man says, ""Don't you mean history?"" The mugger yells, ""Don't try to change the subject!"""

"Virginity is not dignity, but lack of opportunity."

"*spelling bee* Me: b-e-e Judge 1: No, sir, wait until we tell- Me: B-E-E Judge 2: I mean, he's not wrong"