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Joke of the Day
"What happens after Amy Chua? Amy Swallowa."
Next Joke
"BEST ADVICE: Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them."
"How do Helen Keller's parents punish her? Glue doorknobs to the walls."
"I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I'm certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake."
"What do you call it when a hooker farts? A prostitoot."
"Why shouldn't white people swim? Crackers get soggy when wet."
"What did the West African boy eat for breakfast? Ebola oatmeal..."
"Ladies: We barely pay attention when you are speaking directly AT us. What makes you think we will pick up on a subtweet?"
"I hate when I shape my hand like a phone to tell someone to call me, but they're in their 20s and don't know what phones used to look like."
"Will I ever be a good parent? *shakes baby* Wait a minute, if you're here [cut to Magic 8-Ball in crib]"