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Joke of the Day

"[Office] *Dolphin accidentally dials fax number Fax:EEphkEekakischchEEek Dolphin:Well, I don't normally do this. But yes I'm free tonight"

"Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable."

"One crazy fantasy I have is having any energy to do things after work."

"Gymnasts used to look tiny and cute, now they look like they'll kick your @ss in a bar fight."

"My girlfriend and I like to roleplay She pretends to be a nurse while I pretend she exists."

"What for you call a motivated mannequin? Mannecan"

"I like my women how I like my coffee.. Mugged"

"I'm an astronaut, and recently decided to invite my girlfriend to my work. She said she needed some space."

"What did I say when my Neutrogena products worked? well I'm glad I've gotten that cleared up"

"Turtles think tortoises are pretentious as hell."