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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked me why my ringtone is the ""Like a G6."" Up until now I thought it was ""Like a cheese stick."""

"Call me crazy but you can't follow, star, retweet, and trophy me and then act surprised when I show up to your house in a wedding dress."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Two - One to arrest the light bulb for begging for change and other to beat the room because it's black."

"Where did the Joker prank Batman? Got 'Em City."

"I found my stolen briefcase pretty quickly... You could say it was a brief case."

"One atom asks a hipster atom, ""Hey, did you lose an electron?"" The hipster atom replies, ""No, I'm just being ionic."""

"A pedophile walks into the woods with a little girl... Girl: I'm scared Pedo: Me too, I need to walk home alone."

"The spider in my shower was probably relieved to get washed down the drain after the view of me he got from that angle."

"What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common? They both watch whales."

"Texting back and forth with a wrong number. I'm all ""Dude! Let's be BFF's!"". He/she is all ""Stop texting me"". CLASSIC him/her!"