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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Two - One to arrest the light bulb for begging for change and other to beat the room because it's black."

"I taught my youngest niece and nephew to say ""Mommy steals credit cards"" when they're in a checkout line."

"Knock Knock Who said you could come in?"

"Lady: How old's your son? Me: He's 3. Lady: Wow, he has great hand eye coordination. Me: You should see him play Grand Theft Auto, he sucks"

"Emotions are like shit Sometimes you've gotta let it out"

"Hey, Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut. #DadJokes"

"a neurology proffeser is doing a lesson about orgasims. .. He asks one of his femal students ""what do you think your asshole is doing when you orgasim"" she replies "" its out playing golf"""

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, kinda gross, and picked up at the gas station."

"Why did the man get a job as a horse handler? He wanted stable employment"

"you may think the reason there is a pickaxe in the ice sculpture of a swan is 'i was trying to break the ice' but it is actually 'i hate it'"